Have your humans been refusing to leave the house lately? Mine won't budge. They are literally ruining our lives with their constant presence! This dreadful inconvenience interferes with our many schedules (napping, snacking, using the litterbox, and random chaos are my favorite schedules,) but nothing so abominable as what occurred this week: one of the humans had the audacity to attend our at-home Jazzercats class. Not once, but twice!
Shall I list the ways in which she ruined everything? First of all, it's kitties-only, thank you. Secondly, how can she have failed to notice how hard we work to coordinate our magnificent outfits, and look at hers in comparison. Is it a garbage bag? One does not know! I could go on. She stood in my spot both times. She is too tall. And most heinously, she squished one of Sneakers' brothers with her giant foot (she claims that he was standing directly underneath her, but we all know an excuse when we hear one!)
On a happier note, do you see how cute I look in my shorts? Everyone else went with a leotard, but you know how I love short-shorts. Also, see how I'm giving the human my best evil glare? I think she noticed!