Sneakergies
Dear Fluffystuff,
Have you discovered how amusing it is to torture the humans at nighttime? Here's a fun game that I recommend: wait until they're snoring and then balance your entire furry body right on their heads. It is a delight! Extra points for: stepping on throats, claws in soft spots, and, especially, slobber on their faces. Sneakers is the slobberiest kitty on Pottytock Drive, and he wholeheartedly enjoys sending a barrage of dribbles down their heads. After all this hard work, you will be rewarded with sneezing, coughing, crying, and complaining the next morning about how terrible their allergies are. I promise you'll get away with it because they always blame the pollen and the ragweed, as if those amateurs have anything on kitty dander and acid dribbles. What glee!
Fondly,