The Mystery of the Missing Cans
As a little treat to myself, this week I’m taking a break from pondering the task of maybe beginning to think about starting to read King Lear. Instead, I’m revisiting one of my favorite series of mysteries. Unparalleled in complexity, unrivaled in suspense, unprecedented in cunning, I present the great, the only, Nancy Drew!
My dear friend Mei Mei also adores mysteries, as she is something of a respected detective herself. I gave her a call Monday morning to see if she’d like to read The Clue of the Velvet Mask with me. Nothing thrills me quite like the prospect of an impromptu book club! I suspect the other readers benefit more from hearing my gleanings than I do theirs, but I do enjoy performing good deeds, so I never charge for the education.
Come Wednesday, Mei Mei gave us a call all in a fuss! I wish I had been the one to answer the phone, but Sneakers grabbed it (he is always tying up the telephone, both literally and figuratively.) Mei Mei told me that the devilish thievery she’d been reading about in our mystery novel had occurred in her own home. And then her tale gave me a fright: you see, in our novel, the thieves stole uninteresting items like jewels; but the things going missing at Mei Mei’s house were the most valuable things of all: cans of Fancy Feast!
My naturally compassionate nature compelled me to speed over to to Mei Mei’s house to help solve the mystery. I found both Mei Mei and her brother, Mr. Too O’Tall, completely distraught, although Mei Mei had already begun unraveling the case. She calculated that approximately one potato sack’s worth of cans had been stolen, and Too is certain that a curious scuffling in the pantry had awakened him from his nap. I assured them that with my help, we will arrest the thief.
Other than this great mystery, my week has been ho hum. My brothers are still complete idiots. Braesnut and Scampers have been quite smug all week, sneaking around and giggling like silly nitwits. What else, what else… oh! the Two Morons must have bought us new food. They’ve been scooping out all sorts of exotic flavors, some quite delicious (Slurpy Turkey & Gibbles, s’il vous plaît?) But if this is a ploy to trick me into letting them pet my tummy, they are wasting their time!