Tricky Treating
Dear Fluffystuff,
Have you noticed that every year about this time the weather goes from “bleh” to magnifique! in a matter of days? I think I have discovered why this occurs: someone on high has noticed that the refreshing breezes of autumn are a balm to my spirit, and taking pity on a poor kitty like me, they send the crisp air straight to Kittybottom Garden, benefiting all on its journey. How generous I am to share such fine weather! Does it infuse your spirit with zoomy wild vigor? Do you find yourself staging great attacks from behind the shower curtain? I heard that a certain Anne from Green Gables had something clever to say about the weather in October. I wonder if she knows she has me to thank, and if she is a cultured kitty.
Now I must tell you all about our Halloween. Our first stop was Sneakers’ family’s house at 4 Pottytock Drive. Have you met Sneakers’ family? Let me rephrase my question: have you ever been swallowed by a horde of gigantic orange kitties? Sneakers is one of at least 4,000 identical orange blobs, and their names are all stupide: Sneakers, Snackers, Snickers, Quackers, Splatter, Patter, Pitty, Pooter, Sam, Jack, Harley and Teddy. I could go on. Now if you had four thousand kitty Halloween costumes to fashion by hand, and all the kitties were orange, don’t you think you’d make the economical choice and go with pumpkins? I pointed this out to them but no – they wanted to be ghosts. I’m not even sure which one is Sneakers (see my photograph); he tends to blend at family gatherings.
Thank goodness my beautiful girlfriend Cordelia decided to accompany us. She had the idea that she and I could go as Prince and Princess, but I said to her, “How very dull, Cordelia!” She insisted on wearing her princess costume (see how pretty she is in sheepy pink?) but I – I decided to dress as one of the great heroes of classic literature: Heathcliff. Whenever whichever Bronte sister wrote that lovely novel (I hope to read it soon) I know that I must have been the inspiration. I’m sure Cordelia agrees!
I helped Braesnut and Scampers create the most terrifying costumes imaginable: Braesnut is a – gasp – veterinarian, and Scampers is a monster we are just beginning to understand. It is called a “Hoober,” and the morons who clean our house like to push it around while it screams at us. Some of the other kitties did decide to be pumpkins; see Otto and Toto hanging out of the gutter?
Fondly,